At lot of times I feel like a spectator in my own life. Not really a fan, but an observer of the events of my own existence, steadily marching past my face while I stand in the eye of the storm. It’s not like I’m an especially passive person, and I am generally the planner and leader of most things I participate in, yet still as the world happens around me, I can’t shake this feeling that I’m not really the one making the actual stuff transpire.
One of our team members was asking about Pastor Joash’s expectations for them as a unit. My response was that Joash’s hopes are the same as mine, since we are together in our leadership. We planned this mission as one. We spied it out side by side. And we are executing it jointly, leading the team as equally vital personas with varied functions.
As a white person, largely ignorant to cultural faux pas and dependent on a mediator to successfully navigate remote Uganda, I constantly look to my black counterpart for direction and decision, and the leadership lines blur a bit. “I’m pretty sure I’m the leader,” is a great position to work from when it’s not passive and when there’s mutual service to one another in love. “One in spirit and in purpose” makes way for governance that seeks not its own, but gives place to others’ strengths, talents, and special graces.
But above all, I realize I’m mostly a watcher due to the operation of the Holy Spirit in my life. “The Father who dwells in me does the works,” Jesus said, and so much of the activity we engage in has a lot riding on the presence of the Master. “Man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps,” and though we’re making plans and facilitating them, it’s the Father who gave us the vision in the first place, funded it, and inspired us with His strategies for its fulfillment. He brought the people alongside, opened up the doors for effectivity, and is continually adjusting our course with His voice behind us that says, “this is the way, walk in it.”
In the end, all we have to do is show up and watch Him work. He saves. He heals. He delivers. He makes new. And I get to take lots of pictures.